PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
