Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
