worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
