So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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