So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
