She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
