i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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