A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
