She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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