I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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