I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
