You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
