I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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