two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
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Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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