If that was your dad, he is hot
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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