Already got asked if we're dating
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
