You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
