How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
