shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
