the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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