I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
