ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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