We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
