Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
