I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
