I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can you bring me the toilet please
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
did you just send me my own nude
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
