How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
