I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize