My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
