I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
