I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
