Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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