I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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