I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
