It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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