ya dads aren't the best wingmen
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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