Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You did what with his pubic hair?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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