I can tuck mytits in my pants
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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