So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
