im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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