I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
