If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize