alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
