did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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