Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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