So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
