that's an acceptable place to lick
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
