Plan B is the new Plan A
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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