We need to rekindle our bromance
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
