we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
