Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
