we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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