he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
