I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
