pop tarts are not kleenex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
