Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
