Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
