Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
