For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
