I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
