She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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