it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
