Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
