piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
