she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize