I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
