just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
