omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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