I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
